This is a phrase that has troubled me for years. In many of my darkest moments over the past few years it seems to pop up. Did I get ran over because God wanted that?  Did I get a settlement because God wanted that? Did I open a restaurant because God wanted that? Did I go broke because God, too, wanted that?

These are questions that I have dealt with beginning on 16 August 2000. I have found it so easy to blame and/or credit God for each of those four things. The first four months after I was ran over, I was in full blame mode, and deep depression. I had wondered why God had left me for that time, and why He was not there form me when I needed Him most. The fact is God never left me, He continued to pursue me; I left Him. I turned my back on God because of what had occurred.

I look back now and see how that one event totally re-shaped my life. The thing that finally has hit me is how that same event re-shaped the lives of so many around me and built friendships that will last a lifetime. I look at the road it put me on with my old job and ultimately with the restaurant, and how God used each previous event to prepare the way for what I did next. The neat thing is I see how all of those events prepared me for the task that is now before me; going to war in Afghanistan.

I have always been a guy who loved statistics. Before I went into law enforcement, I was very aware of the fact that each year 1 in 4,000 officers will be killed in the line of duty, and each year about 1 in 90 will sustain an injury that requires medical treatment.

As I look to the year ahead and my group of Soldiers that I am responsible for, I can’t get these numbers out of my head. For Afghanistan and Iraq, 1 in 284 doesn’t come home, and?several times that number will be recipients of the Purple Heart. I don’t worry about these numbers for my safety, but rather for those whom I am in charge of. It is a huge responsibility, and one that weighs heavy right now.

I am comforted by my Commander who almost daily reminds me that everything happens for a reason. God has a divine plan, and each event is used by God to help us grow and prepare for something greater. I believe it, and I also believe God will bring us back 100% in tact. Nothing is more important than that right now.

(**Disclaimer** Statistics were gathered using average tour lengths, troop levels, and casualty numbers provided by the main stream media and may not be exact.)